Parenting Tips

The 4 phrases you should never say to your children again!

There are words that can affect the psychological development of children and that make their mark in adult life. I know, those words probably seem innocent to you, but they are not.
Children have fragile brains!

If 10-year-old George hits his head against a concrete wall, he will suffer more serious injuries than if his 35-year-old father did the same.

Instinctively, everyone knows this. But we often ignore the fact that children’s minds are both physically and mentally fragile. They have a fragile and developing mental balance. Psychologists compare children’s brains with extremely soft plasticine. If George’s father says harsh or longing words to him, well, those words can haunt George for years.

Apparently unvented words can affect a child’s psychological development until adulthood or beyond this threshold!

Here are the 4 phrases you should never say to your child:

You are too sensitive!

According to psychologists, many children are born with a sensitive nervous system. As a result, they will react quickly and intensely to almost any emotion or word. Parents with such children often make the mistake of trying to eliminate this sensitivity. Over time, this reduces the child’s ability to empathize with others. After all, if they are taught that their feelings don’t matter, why would they think that others’ feelings matter? It is recommended that parents listen to and accept the child’s feelings, even if they do not seem rational.

That’s life!

When your child returns home disappointed after a little childhood drama, you are tempted to say, “Well, that’s life!” In fact, in his mind, this answer is equivalent to: “Keep your mouth shut, this is happening to everyone!” This answer may be appropriate for a 25-year-old. But beware, a child’s brain is unable to understand that the experiences it is experiencing are not unique. When you tell them such things, they feel guilty, frustrated, and confused. Instead of doing this, you should validate their experience. It is essential that you encourage them to adapt.

“Because that’s what I said!”

Little George refuses to go to bed at 20:00 because he doesn’t understand why he has to do this. His mother may have said to him, “Do you want to know why? Because that’s what I said! ”

This is a response that can lead to resentment. It is an answer that forces the child to accept what he does not understand. This is how frustrations and feelings of personal defeat are born. Moreover, this will give rise to a struggle for power, when that child learns to respond and parental authority is called into question.

Isn’t it easier to answer his question? After all, the decisions you make as a parent are based on logic and reasoning. Why not share this with your child? Explain to him why he has to do something. In this way he will understand that the parent is right.

“Shut your mouth!”

Children learn to perceive certain expressions from an early age as insults. For example, the expression “shut up” is very painful for a child. And the last person who should insult a child is his parent. It is very possible to have a good reason to tell your child to shut up, but it is not an excuse. You probably feel overwhelmed, tired. It is normal! For example, the child does not want to stop playing, and this is very frustrating for you. But instead of telling her to shut up, why not explain to her how you feel? Tell him that you had a long and hard day and that you would appreciate a little peace. Or, better yet, let him make as much noise as he wants, but tell him that from “X” time you want it to be quiet.

The 4 phrases you should never say to your children again!

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