Parenting Tips

No, the child is not obliged to take care of you in old age!

Today I heard that on TV from my mother. I sacrifice so much for my child, but at some point things will change. He will be the one to take care of me! Stay. What the??

How do you expect your child to sacrifice himself for you? Take care of yourself? Why would he do that?

 

I write these lines from the position of a child, but also from the position of a mother. Of course I would not let my parents suffer and of course I would be with them if they needed to, but I am also a mother. And from this position, it’s the last thing I want. Why would I want to be a burden to my child? Because I sacrificed my youth for him? Well, if I did, I’d think the poor kid was to blame.

If I do that, I do it because I choose to. The parent-child relationship is not an exchange. The parent-child relationship should be one of guidance. And the guide is, of course, the parent. 

I don’t know how many mothers I will upset, but the day I can no longer take care of myself, I will do anything, but I will not take care of the child. I believe that each of us is obliged to ensure our old age. To do things in such a way as not to sacrifice the child’s youth to the parent’s old age. 

I don’t make or raise a child for myself

Instead, I do it and raise it so that it can be FREE. INDEPENDENT.

COURAGE . And on my word if that means turning it into my cane in my old age. As a mother, it would seem so selfish to pretend to be helped by my child, but from my parents’ child’s slippers, I see things differently. I know I couldn’t sit with my hands on my chest, I couldn’t be happy knowing they’re not well, I couldn’t put my head on the pillow knowing they needed me. 

That’s how they raised me. Everything for me and so little for them.

From this inner conflict that I am experiencing now, I have only one conclusion: Give everything to your child, but don’t expect him to be your old age insurance. If he does, let it be his decision. If he doesn’t, don’t make your soul bitter. And just think: What do you do if he has to walk away from you? Or what will he do if he is away from you?
No, the child is not obliged to take care of you in old age! How do you see things?
No, the child is not obliged to take care of you in old age!

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