Parenting Tips

You don’t realize what your mother did to you until you became a mother

When you become a mother, you begin to understand and see things differently. In fact, when you become a parent, I’m sure men go through that too.

On the one hand, you understand the hardships your parents went through to raise you, on the other hand, there are criticisms.

You finally understand that it was not easy for your mother to give you life, and maybe you never really thanked her for that. You understand that more than once he took it from his mouth for you to have something to eat, after all, and you would do the same for your child now. You understand why he valued physical needs more than emotional ones.

Or try. Because we didn’t catch communism. We didn’t stand in line and we didn’t really suffer from hunger. And then, yes, we may never really understand.

Instead, we may have had more time, or the conditions may have been more conducive to emotional awareness or abuse.

We had more time to wonder why they were pulling our hair or slapping us when we weren’t doing exactly what they wanted us to do. We, this buffer generation, have learned how not to be.

How probably our parents learned from their grandparents how NOT to be with us.

I will NEVER beat my baby. I will NEVER punish my child. I will NEVER make my child suffer. I will NEVER compare my child. I will give my child everything I did NOT have. I will trust my child more than my parents did. I will NOT stay in a relationship just for the sake of the baby. And how long can this list be …

Our parents were not perfect.

Even the grandparents probably didn’t know how to be better with them. Maybe we won’t be perfect either. Maybe there aren’t any such parents. Maybe there are parents and that’s it.

And then, tell me, no matter how hard you beat or no matter how abandoned you felt, would your soul be left empty if they weren’t there? Good, bad, whatever.

On the other hand, I said and will say it to the last breath: With your dearest man, you must not hide the garbage under the mat.

Yes I know. And painful. To reproach your being for loving one thing or another the most can be like going to hell and then coming back. But if this is necessary for Heaven to be among you, go ahead.

Would you tell your husband if something bothers you about him? Why should it be different in the parent-child relationship? Why don’t we want to work for our relationship?

You don't realize what your mother did to you until you became a mother

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