The truth about single children with parents. What the specialists say

It has long been speculated that there is a single child syndrome in parents. But experts believe it’s just a myth, due to old stereotypes about the family.

“Parental lone child syndrome is a stigma that accompanies children without siblings for more than a hundred years,” sociologist Susan Newman told purewow.com. “Society is still dominated by this idea of ​​a perfect family ‘a boy for you, a girl for me’ and the idea that a child should have siblings. Some people are still attached to this idea, even if studies have shown that currently having one child or not having children at all are more and more common situations “, says the specialist.

Such preconceived notions have arisen over time due to the fact that in the past families had more than one child not because they would have chosen this, but because there was no effective means of contraception.

Families with one child were much rarer in the past, but this situation has become increasingly popular with the advent of contraception. The child without siblings was an exception in the past, and many people considered this situation to be negative for the child’s development. Thus came the idea that a child alone with his parents is selfish, egocentric, does not know how to share, and considers that he should always be liked.

Some people believe that a single child with his parents does not learn to share, communicate properly or interact with other children his age. But this is not true, say experts.

“Children alone with their parents have many opportunities to socialize, especially when they go to kindergarten or school. Interacts with other children during classes, extracurricular activities, and other meetings and events.

For young children, play meetings with other children, preschool programs, camps, excursions, shows, children’s parties, etc. it offers enough opportunities for socializing, ”says psychologist Duval Tsioles.

And studies show that. In a survey, 13,500 children were asked to name ten friends, and researchers found that on average, single children with parents are as popular as their peers from families with more than one child.

The answer is no. In fact, time spent alone is crucial to the formation of a child’s personality and can even lead to the development of positive traits such as self-confidence or independence. According to a study, “loneliness can lead to relaxation and has the ability to reduce stress when the person chooses to be alone.” Therefore, children alone with their parents are not disadvantaged in this respect.

We all know that kind of sisters who talk for hours on the phone and complete each other’s sentences.

Equally often we encounter situations in which relationships between brothers are marked by quarrels, distance, and dissatisfaction.

“One of the advantages of being single with your parents is that there is no rivalry between siblings, no verbal aggression from a sibling,” says Dr. Newman. “All this occurs in many families, and in some cases the negative effects are maintained throughout life. Unfortunately, brothers don’t like each other sometimes, not even in adulthood “, says the specialist.

“The stereotypes created around children alone in their parents have, in fact, more to do with temperament than with or without having siblings. Some children, whether they have siblings or not, are born with intense, reactive temperaments. These children feel stronger and react more intensely to the situations they face. So when something happens or things don’t go the way they imagined, they tend to have strong reactions, which can seem like a form of selfishness.

When they are single with their parents, this type of personality is attributed to the status of a single child with their parents, without taking into account their temperament “, says the psychologist Duval Tsioles.