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Things I miss. What I didn’t know about adolescence …

I always thought that he would come, that he would come down with us, that he would break our souls to pieces, that he would pass away!

I always told myself that I had to adjust my expectations, that I had to remember what it was like, that I had to be patient! Always, always, always!
From an early age, the one with trembling and crazy, I decided not to forget to breathe. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. I knew it would hurt my teeth how much I would grit my teeth and howl whenever I screamed so loudly that I wouldn’t hear around like a dragon. I knew, yes!

Good! And I knew in vain! And, well, I knew it, but that wasn’t all.

My child is 10 years old. These 10 years have been with everything. They were like a shawl from Dristor, the best in town, as they came. I set out on the path of raising this child with the clear idea that he is a new man, whom I do not know, and I devoted my whole life to discovering and knowing him. Somehow, you know what it’s like. Or, well, maybe you don’t know.

Maybe you know your children very well. I confess that I do not know him and I do not understand how other mothers can know them well. I don’t know how you can tell a man you know him when he’s not finished. It’s like planting a tree and saying that I know every leaf and every crack in its stem, every branch and every bud.

And that’s it! I know! But every year, the tree grows bigger, the branches multiply, the leaves the same, the stem gets a different look and it is always a different tree.

I’ll probably be about 45 years old (his) to say I know him, but only after I see him in a big tree, with branches passing through clouds and rain, beaten by hot winds or gusts. Until then, I can’t, I’m sorry, say I know him. You can pass me on to “irresponsible mothers,” but that’s who I am and that’s what I think.

In 10 years, I was telling you, I’ve been through a lot.

I can’t say that I’ve been through everything when my adolescence was in front of me and I was scared like an anorexic girl in the wind, on the edge of the abyss. I feel like being small, squatting under a table and crying. Several times a day!

We’ve come to terms with life’s problems.

Children, you see, have their lives too. They also have dramas, they also have pride. What happens in our lives, well, happens in theirs as well. Sure, it seems like nothing to us, but it’s not easy for them when arguing with a friend.

It’s not for us either, but from the height of our age, it seems like shit to them. Not!

It’s the age of first love. “Does she like me or not?” It’s the age of the first solid friendships. “Am I a good friend or not? Do I count on this gang or not? ” And even if all is well and it goes well, the most important thing – and I would write this thing on all the walls – is that it is also the age of the first insecurities. It’s the age of the first doubts!

Basically, it’s the age when you don’t have much to do.

Adolescence is the ground on which you have to lie down as long as you can. I can tell him and I can show him how many moons and stars he needs, he still needs some outside confirmations. It doesn’t belong to me anymore, it’s not enough for me. The child must begin to be human outside the nest.
And one more thing: it’s the age when you, the parent, have to accept that you can’t do more. It’s over with the baby lump in which it was enough to take him in his arms, change his diaper, put him to the breast and everything would be perfect.

The happiness of the chicks, after they start to test their wings in exercise flights, no longer depends on the parents.

That’s why I say there was something else I didn’t know.

I didn’t know it wasn’t up to me. It’s hard to see him sad, upset, snorting, with his snout down, his face long or even crying without being able to say what he has, and when he calms down he says he doesn’t know, that he felt that way, that he had broken up too. the state, that it was nothing important, that it was ok, that he was sorry that I was worried, that he apologized and so on.

I was thinking last night, after a crisis like this, that more difficult ones would come, others that would be real. There will be suffering from love, quarrels with friends, quarrels and others that we know well, that we were there too.

The first chiul, the first mouthful of alcohol, the first cigarette, the first love, the first suffering …

There follows a long series of first times that I went through in my time with crazy courage. It’s a long line of first times that I should be there for him and not hold his hand when he goes through them, but pull his hand when he stumbles.

There will be a long line of first times that I have to look at with the brave eyes that I looked at when I was a teenager and let him live that too, with all the downsides that come from here.

I just have to stay with him no matter what.

It is very painful to realize that you have passed the lace phase. That’s what I like to say. When the child was younger and stuck to tying the laces and got annoyed … you simply intervened and helped or tied them. Adolescence is the phase in which you no longer need to tie the laces, and the dramas can no longer be solved by your intervention. Just like I told him last night: “I love you, I’m with you and I help you as much as I can, but I can’t live in your place!”
Things I miss. What I didn't know about adolescence ...

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