Parenting Tips

How I learned the lesson of support

I've always said that the best parenting trainers are kids. If we listened to them, if we were more attentive to them, we would also learn how to raise them - how to walk with them - as I like to say.

My child is 10 years old (11, according to his calculations because he also takes the pregnancy into account – “I’ve been calculating since I started existing!”) And it doesn’t make sense to compare myself to him. We had this opportunity when we were younger. Until I was about 4-5 years old, I always made comparisons between myself as a child and him. I think I gave up when I noticed that only he wins! The thing is, I agreed to stay behind and it didn’t bother me. It was just the opposite!

I wanted to get over it!

I touched a computer, for the first time in my life, in the third year of college. Sometimes, in my friend’s words, I’m surprised that I’ve managed to do so well now.

Don’t think that I am tormented by who knows what skill: I know how to open it, how to access the Internet, how to click, and I also know how to close it. And that’s where my skill ends.

My baby is on another level. He has been passionate about programming for several years. Actually no. He was passionate from the beginning, but for several years he began to take this passion seriously. He no longer wanted gifts, toys, or other childhood items. Every birthday, name day, Santa Claus or Bunny came with gifts in money that he invested as best he could: in parts, servers, applications.

This weekend, he needed I don’t know what big update – I wouldn’t be able to reproduce it for you.

I’ve talked to some good friends and they said it’s okay, but I don’t understand any of all those letters and characters.

However, don’t think I’m giving up on him.

I sit next to him, ask him what he needs and, most of the time, he asks me for a glass of water, and I know that he asks me for mercy: to make me feel useful. I’m fine with that too!

When he got to work on Saturday, I couldn’t see my head in my housework. I asked him reflexively if he needed help, though I had no idea I was going to sit on his back.

I expected him to say “no” to me and see my soup.

– No, I don’t need help! I need support!
Ha? What did the poet mean? I left everything and went to him.
“I don’t want you to help me with anything,” I said. I just need you to support me … to be by my side.
I sat down in the armchair next to his desk and said something.
– No, Mommy. You can support me without talking. That’s how I feel about support. You don’t have to do anything, just be by my side.
OK.

And I stayed. I don’t know how much, I didn’t realize, but it was a silence that, I was going to realize later, I needed too.

I sat in my thoughts and in the sounds of clicks and keys. That’s how I learned the lesson of support. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to argue. We just have to be there. And I don’t know why I came to the conclusion that support is perhaps more important than help. Support is a help to the soul, and children are the people who need it the most.

How I learned the lesson of support

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