Parenting Tips

How I cultivated my son’s patience

I don't know if you have such memories, but I have some that I can't cover with anything to forget. Only one haunts me, a sign that I was deeply marked by chance.

Iwas shopping at Lidl, and the child, who was about 3 years old at the time and was sitting on the stand of the shopping cart, noticed when I was at home that I also picked mushrooms. Okay, it took me a while to figure out why he was crying like I cut him off and gave him salt.
– I don’t want to take popcorn! Why did he take poplelli? I don’t want it!
There was no way to reassure him, which is why I said we would pay and leave. Well, it only took a few seconds for the world to be overwhelmed, because everything turned into a war. I escaped, with the help of the gentleman from the guard, even from the beating.

Two or three women started begging me to take action:

– Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Look at the one who doesn’t care that he’s screaming. I let him scream in the store, I’d better go and beat them both.
“Yes, do something, madam, it’s not normal for a whole store to suffer!”
“She’s uneducated!” Can’t you see he’s not even hearing us?

I said they were just exceptions. I was wrong. In half a minute, I was defended by the gentleman on guard and a few cashiers, and all those who were in line (not at the house we were at) were angry and ready to fight, as surely our little countrywoman had never seen in our her life.

I tell you, if people like that had fought in our wars throughout history, we would now be at least at the level of the Roman Empire in its glory years.

I remember with horror this incident, but also many others in which the child cried, most of the time, for “now”. I always let him cry when he asked for something NOW. Of course, life has its moments, in which it also offers you pleasures “on the spot”, but they are a bit rare and you still have to be patient with each other.

Patience is, therefore, a lesson that is taught from home in early childhood and reaches the rank of virtue in adulthood. It may seem like an exaggeration to say, but please do an exercise in imagination and try to think about what our country and the world would look like in general if people were more patient.

I started cultivating my child’s patience for years and I cultivated it badly.

I couldn’t figure it out at all and I didn’t understand why. Nothing I did helped him control himself.

Or, being older, he controlled himself, but with difficulty – even with days marked by a sadness that broke my heart. I often thought about night brains, turning them all over my mind.

I know one more thing, I also learned from my experience during the hard years I went through: when nothing works out for you, go back to basics – retire, go back to where you started. It was a revelation to make the connection between the child’s patience and where I started.
I actually left the country, and my patience was cultivated, literally, or hatched. I helped my family in the garden – I dug, I sowed, I planted, I planted, I watered, I watered, I tied … I did all this – I followed the evolution of all the vegetables from seeds or seedlings to firewood, beyond the harvest.
I was helping my grandmother pick the eggs from the candle and put them in the nest, I didn’t call her that, I didn’t even know what the nest was, we called her the “nest”, and the first nest I heard of in my life was the one with the golden chicks).

That’s how I learned patience, but I didn’t know it.

I needed to get here today to realize.

And so I began to cultivate the child’s patience – with a plant. I had a kalanchoe that had been suffering from vegetarian kittens and I didn’t give it much time. It is a type of plant that recovers very quickly, quickly takes root, even when only one leaf is left green from the whole plant. I like to say that it is my partner plant, I like to believe that Kalanchoa is alive. I wish that when there was only one leaf left in me, this little leaf would take root and grow a full-grown plant again.

Last fall, when we were looking out of the window at the rain, I began to pick the dry plants. I then told the child exactly what I had written above – that I would like to be a Kalanchoa. I also told him why and then I suggested that we try to see if I was right. I planted a leaf and a shoot in two other pots. He analyzed them intensely day by day, but when they began to heal, a sign that the roots had spread well, he was very happy.

Now, one of them has buds, and the baby is overjoyed.

Don’t think he was quiet after planting this lesson for them, it was like Hollywood movies! Not nearly! He had days when he was only sitting next to the pots, because I wanted to call him and make him watch my hair grow and at least we were next to each other!
And, yes, the ultimate satisfaction was that a few weeks ago, after watering them, he came to me and said to me, with the assumption of an adult:
“Finally, I understand what patience is all about.” It’s hard, but it’s also beautiful!
Like life, your mother would eat you as a child!
How I cultivated my son's patience

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