Spanking your child has long been considered a good education method. Well yes, “if you don’t listen, I have to correct you ?! How else are you going to know that you have done something wrong? ”.
Yet this is far from the case. Attention… I do not judge. I even understand you (yes, I have 3 children!). When your kids are constantly hopping on the couch, crying every two seconds, or running around the house, being careful to ignore your quiet warnings, it’s a big deal!
Besides, I must admit that I often have to take a few minutes to calm down and relax. I have to take a deep breath and say to myself “It’s going to be okay.” so as not to spank them.
I understand that in France still many parents consider spanking an acceptable punishment for children.
And believe me, in some countries the situation is even worse! But all forms of corporal punishment can have a lasting and devastating negative effect on your child.
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The dangers of spanking
All the experts agree in saying “No” to spanking! Almost every major health organization has spoken out against this way of disciplining your children.
And several international organizations have called for the criminalization of corporal punishment.
Spanking is not a recommended option for disciplining your child, and it should even be legally prohibited. Why ?
Quite simply because it is much more dangerous and harmful than it is beneficial and effective.
All experts agree that spanking is much more harmful than beneficial.
Mental health problems
One study found that spanking children can lead to a higher risk of mental health problems when they become adults.
These psychological disorders include anxiety, depression, suicide attempts, alcohol and drug abuse, to name a few.
Spanking of children is also linked to aggression in adulthood, the adoption of risky behaviors and post-traumatic stress disorder.
In addition, this corporal punishment can also lead to many physical health problems such as shorter life expectancy.
When can spanking be used?
If you intend to use spanking, it is advisable to use it only in extreme and rare situations.
That is, for preschoolers who have shown genuine willful disobedience and not small involuntary acts of defiance.
Once adults, children who have been repeatedly spanked in childhood have a real problem of aggression in their friendships and romantic relationships.
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Reminder: Never, oh never, should you use spanking to discipline infants or children who have good communication skills.
Spanking is supposed to send a strong message but should not be used as a daily punishment for acts considered “defiant” by parents.
Imagine the following scenario: in your household, spanking is a perfectly acceptable method of punishment.
This means that whenever something bothers you, you get angry. So you lose patience and the risk of spanking your children is very high.
Besides, you might even be more aggressive / aggressive than you should be. So your children live in fear and do not even dare to tell you about their problems or the reasons that led them to do so.
In this case, you may want to seek professional help to understand the source of your anger and your inability to control yourself.
Did you yourself experience corporal punishment as a child?
Better alternatives to discipline your children
Instead of using physical punishment methods like spanking, there are other ways to discipline your children. Means that are much more effective and positive.
You should focus on the reward for good behavior. For example with a movie night, a small gift, or even just praise.
Consistency is crucial, however, whether it is on the part of parents, grandparents or anyone else who cares for a child.
None of this will work if the child continues to receive conflicting messages.
This way you will gradually get your child used to getting used to certain behaviors until they become almost natural.
You will raise him in a positive environment, full of positive reactions. This will allow him to feel good about himself and to be rewarded for his work.
Instead of showing this form of aggression in front of your child, you should instead try to give them time off. Take away some privileges or send him to his room.
Besides, when your child does something wrong, it’s your role to show him the right way to behave.
Ultimately, spanking is the decision of the parents. But be careful and do your research and talk to an expert before tackling a topic that you don’t understand well in your child’s education.
Also, give your children the love they need and provide them with a warm and caring home. All children deserve this.