Parenting Tips

Open letter to all the girls abandoned by their dad …

If your dad failed, abandoned you, or didn’t live up to it, it has nothing to do with you. You haven’t done anything wrong.

You are worthy of being loved. The person who is supposed to love you the most in the world, who is supposed to uplift, guide and protect you, has no right to disappoint you.

Your father should be your hero. He should be the man who teaches you how the men in your life should treat you.

Your father is the person who hugs you when you are sad. He is the one who listens to you when you have problems.

Either way, that’s what it’s supposed to be.

So if you haven’t seen your father in years, or if you don’t have a meaningful relationship with him, know that you are not to blame. Maintaining that bond is not your job.

You are not responsible for your father’s weaknesses or problems. If he chose to abandon you, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved.

Don’t doubt your worth because of him.

I’m sure your mom has gone out of her way to make you understand that you are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to exist.

Well, that also applies to your father. Indeed, his choice to leave and not be a part of your life is simply proof that he does not have the care to take his responsibilities.

This man does not deserve your tears. And most importantly, you must not let it destroy your self-confidence or your esteem. You are like your mother: someone proud and resourceful.

But understand, not all men are the same. Just because your dad made you suffer doesn’t mean your life partners are going to do the same.

Give men a chance to prove to you that they deserve your love and respect. 

Don’t look for their flaws, and don’t wait for the moment when they let you down and go. Cherish them.

Don’t spend your life comparing your situation to that of daughters who have great fathers.

You see, when you spend your time comparing, you are missing out on the blessings in your own life. 

Take advantage of the blessings you have. Find out what you learned from this experience and how it shaped who you are today.

Indeed, you may not have had the opportunity to have a father present, but that doesn’t mean you are to be pitied. You have lived a good life.

Your mother was very present and she supported you in everything you did. She encouraged your dreams and never hesitated to be your parent unit.

In her head, she was your father and mother, because she didn’t want you to feel the absence of your parent. Moreover, we will no longer use the term “father”, because he does not deserve this name.

Believe me, you have a lot to be thankful for. Your happiness and your blessings are many. So you have no reason to regret anything. Raise your head and walk proudly.

Build on your mother’s role model.

Surely you wondered what you had done to deserve this behavior from him. Guilt washed over you and you even tried to get answers from him, but to no avail.

For too long you have felt abjection. But it’s time to let go of all the negative feelings. Instead of living in the past, project yourself.

What would your mom say if she saw you sad and depressed because of a man who was never really in your life?

Your mother is someone you can be proud of. All your life she has been strong and independent. She has always been there to reassure and support you.

So, instead of wasting time thinking about your parent (who won’t be coming back), do like your mom: accept his departure and move on.

Finally, your situation is quite close to a breakup. The person who’s supposed to love you the most is gone. Now you have to heal your heart.

Simply, you should have done this a long time ago. You’ve wasted way too much time because of him, so take back the reins of your life.

Focus on your passions, hang out with your friends and mom. Prove to them that you don’t need a father figure to be strong and happy.

Open letter to all the girls abandoned by their dad ...

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