I’m not going to make a big revelation by saying that motherhood is not for the weak in character. Indeed, raising children, while juggling work, personal obligations and self-care is far (very far) from simple.
Sometimes I tell myself that men are very lucky. But hey … All we have to do is fight. Being a mom is difficult.
Besides, in my opinion, it is the most difficult job in the world. So much responsibility rests on your shoulders that it can become overwhelming.
Do you sometimes have the impression of suffocating? To lose your temper? Yes me too. But I will reveal my secrets to you.
I’m a proud but very (very busy) mom. I have three children under the age of 6 and I work full time. Like many mothers, I made my children my priority.
I devote all my free time to them, I read with them, we go for a walk and we learn to respect each other. Communication is extremely important to me so I try to speak with them in an honest manner.
In addition, I am a lucky person (in any case, that’s what I am told over and over again) because I have a partner who is very involved in family life and in the education of children.
Apparently this is rare. Yet, with or without a partner (of course, raising children is much easier when the father is present AND involved), the mother bears all the burden on her shoulders.
Let’s be honest …
This is why so many moms are exhausted, stressed and constantly on the verge of tears. They feel like they are failing in their role as mothers and being a bad example to their children.
I was feeling the same, not too long ago. Then I decided to take the time to analyze my behavior and the causes and consequences of it.
I wanted to know the origin of my frustration and my lack of self-confidence as a mother. And what do you want to know?
I discovered that I was a superhero. I am an extremely strong and independent woman. Honestly, I think I can lift mountains to please my family and to make them happy.
The only thing I lacked was to take care of myself. Yes, as I neglected myself a lot, my stress level increased more and more.
And when you get stressed, you scream and behave completely irrational. So here are the 10 changes I made to be more relaxed.
And now I’m a better mom. After all, if you want to be successful in any area of life, you have to start by taking care of yourself. If you want to be a happy mother, start with yourself!
So if you want to be a more relaxed mom who can more easily deal with her children’s cravings and temper tantrums, here are the habits you need to change immediately.
10. Follow the trends of stars.
We all compare ourselves to others, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. From this comparison is born the will to be like the others.
We want to be like them, imitate them and follow their examples: it is in human nature. But you have to break away from this image of the perfect mother. Don’t look at Instagram like it’s reality.
The kids won’t remember all those toys and clothes you bought for them, but they will remember the times you spent together, the things you did together, and how they felt during those times.
9. Say “yes” to everyone except yourself.
Many of us need to learn to say “no” gently, without letting our conscience get in our way. And moms in particular tend to give too much of themselves, especially to kids.
However, sometimes you have to tell them “no” in order to be able to say “yes” to yourself. Set your limits and recognize when you give too much.
Taking the kids to sports, helping with homework or preparing all birthdays is certainly important, but every now and then you just have to set aside an evening to have fun with a glass of wine and a nice bath. Are you saying yes!
8. Spend more time on the phone than with children.
All the kids want from you is your love, your attention. They want you to be proud of them. Usually kids (at least when they’re little) want to show you everything and tell you everything.
Yes, it can be boring and repetitive but, as you know, it won’t always be like that. One day, children will want their privacy and won’t want to share everything with you anymore.
So while the kids are little, when they’re calling mom for the millionth time in a row, hang up the phone. Social media will always be there, but those moments won’t. Leave everything and enjoy the time with the children.
7. Expecting too high of how much you can load in a single day.
We all have too long to-do lists. Moms are particularly champions in this area. But sometimes you have to tell yourself that the laundry can wait. It won’t go away, so take a deep breath and don’t hesitate to put the work aside.
A day has only a certain number of hours and various things happen, such is life. Remember that you are human and focus on one thing at a time. And for everything else, there is a tomorrow.
6. Don’t ask for help.
You can’t do it all alone. Nobody can. So don’t feel bad and think that you are failing just because you need help. In fact, it takes a lot of strength to ask for help.
It shows that you are thinking about yourself and your family. We all need help from time to time, and that’s quite normal.
5. Feeling guilty about eating out or not eating healthy every day.
Do you really believe that the perfect mom always cooks fresh, only organic, homemade food for her family? Unless that is the job of this particular mom, such a woman does not exist.
So don’t feel bad if you have to eat out, at a fast food restaurant, or want to order food from your home. It is also one of the small pleasures of life.
4. Forget to make marriage a priority.
It’s easy to put children first. They are dependent on you and are constantly seeking your attention. These are the things we tell ourselves.
But one of the best things you can do for your child is to show them that you love their dad. This creates a certain serenity because the child knows that he has a strong family.
You surely hear moms say that their children come first. But one day these children will leave the house and then you will be alone with your partner.
You might find that you don’t even know the person you’re living with anymore, unless marriage is your priority until then. So take the time to talk and flirt with your partner. It is good for you and your children.
3. Keep repeating that you are a bad mother.
You are a super mom! You take care of the family, you feed them, you encourage them, you teach them what to do and so many other things.
If you’re worried that you’re not a good enough mom, chances are you are a great mom! Those who always want to fix something, level up, give their kids more love and patience are great moms.
2. Be concerned about what other people think.
Life is too short to give the advice of others a second. What do those around you and your friends (or strangers) think about you and your family? You have to be completely away from it! They probably don’t even understand your situation and your situation or what you are going through.
People who genuinely care about you will understand you and never judge you.
1. Not taking care of yourself
We always explain to others, and especially to ourselves personally, that we are too busy to do this or that for ourselves. Why do we never have enough time for ourselves?
We must keep in mind that happy and healthy children need happy and healthy mothers.