I know I may not be unanimous. But honestly, I don’t mind! As a mom, I don’t think it’s our job to raise children who excel in school.
Indeed, I do not believe that the grades they get or the comments of the teachers will help them to become empathetic, patient, hardworking and generous people.
So yeah, I don’t care what grades my son got in school. If he deserved a good mark, great! If he didn’t deserve it, too bad. He will do better next time.
I really don’t care if the school system thinks my son is a genius, someone average, or a stupid boy. And I don’t care what other moms think.
What is important to me is instilling real values in my son. I want him to understand the difference between right and wrong. I want him to be able to make decisions on his own.
And above all, I want him to become a good, respectable, gentle and understanding man.
So why am I constantly being singled out? Am I really weird? Or is it the company that is completely gone?
Everyone has their area of specialization
When a cardiologist takes his child to the pediatrician, it is quite simply because he is aware that childhood medicine is his specialization.
So the pediatrician will be much better able to make a diagnosis. After all, it’s his job! He knows children, how their bodies work and what reactions they can have to different illnesses.
And the cardiologist does not question the work of his colleague. He trusts her so he doesn’t need any further explanation.
When I go to a parent / teacher meeting, I expect the same level of professionalism. Let me explain ! When I am one-on-one with my son’s teacher, I want to know how much progress my child has made.
Is there any information I should know? Is there a behavior that I should react to as soon as possible?
What matters to me is getting professional feedback on my son’s behavioral and learning abilities.
In short, is he struggling? Is something holding him back?
And you know what I get? His report card! Immediately, even before the discussion begins, they put my son’s notes under my nose.
As if those few scribbles were proof of his good or bad behavior. As if math or science notes could tell me if my child was feeling good about himself and developing normally.
Grades are just an endorsement parents are looking for
As a mother, grades mean nothing to me. Why ? Because my son is working to get them. These are his! They are a reflection of his personal investment. But they can’t tell if my child is going to grow up to be a good or toxic adult.
What really interests me is my son’s behavior towards his classmates, teachers, friends, aunts and everyone around him or that they meet.
This is what matters! But, in my research, I am often misunderstood. No one talks to me about my child’s behavior and when I ask for advice, people often look at me askance.
Why ? Simply because most parents are only interested in their children’s grades. They consider themselves to be working and fighting with their children to obtain them. So they want to see the result.
In fact, grades are just a form of approval that parents need for their offspring but also for themselves. As if that proves that they are good parents.
Attentive, present and generous parents. And what happens when their child has a bad report card? Parents don’t question themselves, they blame the child.
So they force him to work even harder!
The ambition and frustration of some parents can then push children to the limits of exhaustion and mental anxiety. Which can be very dangerous!
What is important is to awaken the consciousness of children
No, grades are not a measure of knowledge. If your child scores better than their peers, that doesn’t mean they are smarter.
And conversely, just because three children had better grades than your child does not mean that he is stupid.
So, for every grade your child gets, it’s important to assess the circumstances and understand the reasons for their success or failure.
Was he / she stressed? Had he / she not worked enough? Finally, how can you help him improve his grades?
This is what is important. When I go to a meeting at school, it is to see how my child behaves in his environment.
I don’t want anything to escape me. After all, puberty is coming earlier and earlier these days. That’s why, I always have my senses on the alert.
This is why my child’s behavior is so much more important than his grades.
My son must know how to respect his elders. When the teacher says something, he must listen. Even if, at the time, it seemed unfair to him.
Indeed, respect is extremely important to me. First, respect for himself, then respect for parents. And finally, respect for his future superiors.
Politeness and altruism never go out of style. I want my son to know what to do if a friend of his needs help. I want him to be empathetic and generous.
Yes, I think it’s much more important to help our kids grow up to be good people than to force them to work like crazy to get 20/20.