Parenting Tips

5 Questions not to ask a single mother

I’m not teaching you that: being a single mother isn’t joy every day. In fact, it sucks!

They are long sleepless nights, wondering how to bring up your child so that he does not feel the absence of his father, how to explain to him, moreover, that his father does not want to take care of him.

These are hours spent frying their neurons to figure out how to ensure financially so that your child does not miss anything.

How can you be physically present to give her enough love and attention? How can you be emotionally present so that he knows he can always count on you?

In short, how to play on all the tables at the same time?

Then, being a single mother is loneliness. Lots of loneliness … Lots of judgments … And even more criticisms.

Among my friends (the little that I have left after the separation), there is only one who is a single mother. And she told me a story that might have been funny, if it hadn’t been pathetic.

One day at work, a coworker asked her if she had sex. Tit for tat, she replied: “Yes… a lot… I get fucked up every night!”.

Apparently everyone was shocked by his response. But no one seemed to be shocked by the question. Who gives you the right to ask intimate questions of people?

Who authorizes you to interfere in the lives of others?

Ask an embarrassing question to make people laugh or make fun of it

After hearing this story, I took the time to think about the different questions that one had to answer during his life. And I understood that it started very early.

From an early age, we are asked: “Do you prefer mom or dad?”. Then at university we are asked: ‘Do you have a boyfriend / girlfriend?’.

And, from there, everything is linked: when are you going to get engaged? Are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby?

Then when will the second baby arrive? But why are you stopping there? Or why do you have so many children?

You see… There are no more limits. With a woman raising her child alone, anything seems possible. Why ? Because she has no one to protect her, to defend her?

Well, know that we, single moms, we know very well how to defend ourselves. Over the course of my life, I have had to answer silly, personal, and even vulgar questions.

But since I am a single mother, it is the pompom. I see green and unripe ones. Still, there are 5 questions that I can’t take anymore.

You don’t have the right to interfere in my life. And so you don’t have the right to ask me these questions. You do not have the right to ask these questions of any single mother who makes efforts and sacrifices for her child.

1. Why did you split up?

We parted because everything was going perfectly well, hey! What is that question ? Between us, it was magical: the butterflies in the belly, the blue sky and the birds singing.

So I decided to get a divorce to get an adrenaline boost. Because you see divorce, it’s a top-level sport where the adrenaline kicks in.

In general, there are several disciplines. The first is a warm-up with the social service center. The second is a fight with the lawyers: division of property, attempted amicable divorce, postponed hearings… An endless dance!

And since I love this adrenaline-fueled sport, it’s normal that I want to participate. It’s also great that after divorce, we continue to practice this discipline for the rest of our lives.

Indeed, we divide the child in two. In fact, it really is cardio. So who wouldn’t want a divorce? 

Frankly, stop with this question: it’s none of your business!

2. What are you going to do now that you are separated?

Oh, I’m so glad someone finally asked me that question. Yes, because without you, I would never have thought of reflecting on my situation. Thank you…

Do you want me to confess something to you? My life is a true American romantic comedy. I walk as pink and smiling unicorns fall from the sky singing Claude François.

So obviously, I don’t have time to ask myself what I’m going to do now that I’m divorced. Hmm… I know! I’ll start simple. Indeed, I’m going to open a bottle of wine and watch Before You .

That way I’ll be able to watch them fall in love and cry all night long, wondering why I’m not allowed a fairytale story.

I will wake up in the morning to take my child to kindergarten and then to go to work, all bloated and depressed.

Then I will run to get my baby, cook dinner, go shopping, play with the baby, wash him and put him to sleep. Then I will watch Sans Sarah, nothing goes! to try to figure out why such assholes exist.

Here ! Do you like my answer? And what are you going to do with this information now?

3. Where is your child?

Excellent question! Usually, I never leave my house without my child! Besides, I think mothers should be 100% devoted to their child and never take any step without it.

You do not agree ? I know a standard mom sometimes wants to go to the hairdresser or have coffee with her friends, go shopping, and maybe (I don’t dare say it) even go out at night.

But my opinion is that when a woman becomes a mother, she ceases to be everything else. All desires, all wills, all aspirations. In short, she must forget everything that makes her a woman and devote herself 100% to her child.

And of course, leaving home without your child is unacceptable! So where is my child? I sold it and got a great deal!

4. When are you going to give him a brother or sister? Only children are too spoiled …

I’m super happy to know that you are interested in the current state of my ovaries. I must admit: the situation is not great. Besides, I can’t have more children. And frankly, I love it when people ask me that question because it reminds me of my sad and painful reality.

Thank you ! Oh, you didn’t want any details? I’m sorry but it surprises me a bit. After all, you seemed very interested in the health of my v * gin. I mean, I thought you even wanted to see my medical card.

Thank you for making me feel guilty, anyway… I can’t give my child a brother or sister and I had barely healed this wound when you opened it wide.

I was starting to live normally. But apparently I don’t have the right! It is much more important to put others down.

5. When are you going to remarry? After all, your child is going to leave and you will soon find yourself alone …

Here, I’m going to get married now! I’m going to go up to Paris because there is more choice there. And the first man I like, I take him to the altar.

After all, I don’t think I have the right to standards. Is not it ? I don’t want to end up alone, that would be the worst punishment for me, as a woman.

Who is going to throw dirty socks next to the laundry basket? Who will forget to lower the toilet seat? And who is going to spend their evenings watching football games, drinking beers?

Oh no, I must find myself a rare specimen! As soon as possible… By the way, if you have someone on hand, don’t hesitate to send it to me.

Okay, I’m being sarcastic but I’m really sick of these questions. And I think other single moms too. So stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

5 Questions not to ask a single mother

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