We like to keep our children away from pain and grief, we try our best to spare them painful experiences of loss. We want them to enjoy a happy, carefree childhood. Small and big goodbyes, heavy losses, stressful and painful life experiences are part of our life – including the life of a child. But, Did you know? We support children in their healthy development if we allow them to go through goodbyes and feel their grief.
Children experience their first big farewell when they are born. We all have to say goodbye to the security of the womb. The life themes of farewell and a new beginning accompany us from the beginning of life. New farewells quickly follow after the birth: brief separations from caregivers when they leave the room; the detachment from the mother’s breast, from the pacifier and the diaper. These transitions and farewells that children experience in the further course of their lives require detachment and at the same time enable growth, development, and more independence for instance, the ability to move increases, the child begins to go to the toilet alone, to eat alone .
Letting go of the possibilities helps them to develop. From habits grown dearly and self-evident security of a phase of life can be experienced as loss and trigger grief processes. Healthy child development includes learning processes and the realization that emotional and physical pain, loss, illness, separation, and death are also natural components of our lives. It is essential that children are allowed to learn to deal with such experiences. Children must first acquire the best possible, individual way of dealing with losses and crises, whether small or large. The sooner you get the opportunity to deal with small losses, the more likely you will be able to cope with heavy losses later and not break down. That is why we must not withhold the processing of losses from our children,